Becoming

“Now I think it’s one of the most useless questions an adult can ask a child—What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.” 

Michelle points out the strangeness in the idea that we only get to be one thing as an adult, and that we are defined by a singular occupation. In doing so, she emphasizes the importance of the title of the memoir, Becoming, or the idea that we are constantly in the process of learning and adapting into a new version of ourselves. People shouldn’t stop achieving just because they have reached one pinnacle, and Michelle suggests that she will continue to grow and change as she becomes whatever follows being the First Lady. 

“Even if we didn’t know the context, we were instructed to remember that context existed. Everyone on earth, they’d tell us, was carrying around an unseen history, and that alone deserved some tolerance.” 

Michelle explains how her parents instructed her to be tolerant of others and not jump to conclusions about people. As a child, Michelle believes that her great-aunt and uncle are grouchy and too strict, but later in life she learns that both dealt with oppression. Understanding this allows Michelle to comprehend why Robbie held herself and others to such a high standard, and why Terry keeps things neat and overdresses. While it is easy to make snap judgments about people, this experience teaches Michelle that there is often much more to the story.