Everything We Never Said

Ella is the novel’s protagonist, and she is a dynamic, round character. Her initial lack of self-confidence is represented by her tendency to apologize for actions and feelings that require no apology. Before the accident, Ella felt like she embodied her mother’s idea of the perfect daughter; she believes that the accident, however, revealed her flaws, creating her mother’s disappointment, which makes Ella feel terribly guilty. She also feels guilt and shame regarding the accident because she was driving and had been drinking before the crash. When Ella discovers that she is not to blame, and that she has managed frightening events and survived, she is finally able to move on. Her mother takes responsibility for having “no idea how to handle everything […] with Hayley” and assures Ella that “no matter what [Ella’s] done, no matter who [she] is, […] [she’d] always be [their] perfect Ella” (282). Instead of trying to squash or avoid her feelings, Ella allows herself to “feel […] everything. Everything” (286), and she knows that she is “so much more” than the frightened, helpless girl she was before Hayley’s disappearance (287). Her new self-confidence and self-awareness are revealed by the way she stops offering unnecessary apologies, which Sawyer helpfully identifies.