Felix Ever After

There is a thunderstorm. Ezra loves storms, but Felix hates them for their unpredictability. They stay at Ezra’s apartment and skip class. Felix texts Declan that he said yes to a situation and it led to a necessary confrontation. He also asks Declan about his ex-boyfriend. Declan knew his ex was going to end things, so he pushed him away instead, but his heart was still broken. Felix slips up, accidentally texting Ezra’s name. Felix is forced to admit that he goes to St. Cat’s and knows Ezra, which makes Declan trust Lucky less.

Felix admits that he’s never been in love but that he wants to be; he writes a long paragraph speculating about what love must feel like. When Declan asks what’s stopping him, Felix says he’s waiting for someone to love him back. As Felix falls asleep, Declan calls him. Felix is nervous that Declan will recognize his voice but picks up anyway. Declan wants to know why Lucky doesn’t believe anyone could love him. Again, Felix is scared to give himself away but says that it’s because of his many identities: “The love interests in books, or in movies or TV shows, are always white, cis, straight, blond hair, blue eyes… it becomes a little hard, I guess, to convince myself I deserve the kind of love you see on movie screens” (219).