Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Grant describes two different ways to achieve influence: through dominance or through prestige. Both approaches, he says, are closely connected to reciprocity styles. Most takers opt for dominance; they use their power and authority to assert control over others and get what they want. They use what Grant calls “powerful communication”: They take up space, speak loudly, and use assertiveness, confidence, and even anger to achieve their goals. By contrast, givers tend to be more adept at “powerless communication,” a more vulnerable style of communication that can express hesitation and doubt through uncertain and tentative language and that leaves room for input from others. 

The rest of the chapter explores the effectiveness of powerless communication in four areas: presenting, selling, persuading, and negotiating.

Grant argues that powerless communication can be highly effective when presenting, especially in situations where the audience is skeptical. As an example, he recounts the experiences of Dave Walton, a lawyer who won a case against a powerful, well-established opponent by inadvertently using powerless communication. Walton has a stutter, and his speech is often characterized by hesitations and pauses. Walton believes his stutter humanized him in the eyes of the jury.