Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam Grant, explores the concept of reciprocity in the workplace and how it can lead to personal and professional success. First published in 2013, the book bridges the genres of business psychology and self-help, providing readers with actionable strategies to enhance their careers and professional relationships. Grant, an organizational psychologist and professor, draws on his extensive research and real-world examples to demonstrate the power of giving and generosity in the workplace and other contexts. Grant’s work centers on themes like Generosity as a Multiplier as well as The Importance of Interdependence. His depiction of givers—individuals who prioritize helping others without expecting anything in return—challenges the traditional notion that success is only achieved through self-interest and competition. His arguments build up to The Subversion of Traditional Notions of Power in the Workplace, highlighting how givers can actually achieve greater long-term success and fulfillment than takers.

This guide refers to the Penguin Books 2014 edition.

Summary

In Chapter 1, Grant introduces three different reciprocity styles, or ways of approaching interactions with others: giving, taking, and matching. Givers proactively seek out opportunities to help others, often without expecting anything in return. Takers, on the other hand, prioritize their self-interest and seek to gain more from others than what they give in return. Matchers fall somewhere in between, striving for a balance of giving and receiving; they view interactions as transactional and value fairness and equal reciprocity.

In this chapter, Grant reveals one of his main arguments: Givers, counterintuitively, can be highly successful in the long run—even more successful than takers or matchers. He illustrates this argument through various examples, sharing anecdotes of givers like Abraham Lincoln, who prioritized giving and collaboration over personal gain. Grant notes that while some givers become successful, many givers sink to the bottom of the ladder in their workplaces, and he states that the rest of the book will explore the factors that separate successful givers from those who struggle.

In Chapter 2, Grant describes how givers, takers, and matchers build networks. He argues that givers are more likely to build diverse, expansive, and powerful networks due to their willingness to help others without expecting immediate returns. On the other hand, takers tend to move from one connection to another, seeking personal gain and often leaving a trail of damaged relationships in their wake. Lastly, matchers tend to have the smallest networks, as they are selective in their interactions and are more focused on maintaining a balanced exchange of favors. Grant argues that this can limit matchers’ access to diverse resources and opportunities. To illustrate his points, Grant compares the different networking approaches of a taker (Kenneth Lay, the former CEO of Enron) and a giver (Adam Rifkin, an engineer and entrepreneur).

Chapter 3 explores the ways in which givers and takers collaborate with others and share credit. Grant discusses how givers are more likely to engage in collaboration and teamwork, as they prioritize the success of the group rather than individual recognition. Takers, on the other hand, are often reluctant to share credit and may even take credit for the work of others. Grant gives the examples of architect Frank Lloyd Wright and scientist Jonas Salk, who did not appreciate the contributions of their collaborators and whose careers eventually suffered as a result. In contrast, he provides the example of The Simpsons writer George Meyer, a giver who valued the contributions of others and actively sought to share credit, leading to a successful and collaborative career.

Chapter 4 discusses how givers excel at seeing potential in others and helping them develop their skills and abilities. Grant cites studies showing that believing in others can help people unlock their talents and achieve greater success. Since givers are more likely than matchers and takers to see potential in everyone, they are uniquely suited to motivate, inspire, and empower others to reach their full capabilities.

In Chapter 5, Grant introduces the concept of “powerless communication,” a form of communication characterized by vulnerability, hesitation, and openness. Givers are more likely to use powerless communication than others, and Grant argues that this method of communicating can be influential and effective, especially in situations where one faces a power imbalance or a skeptical or resistant audience.

In Chapter 6, Grant begins to explore the differences between givers who burn out and those who don’t. He distinguishes between “selfless givers” and “otherish givers.” Selfless givers exhaust themselves by constantly putting others’ needs before their own, often leading to burnout. Otherish givers recognize the importance of self-preservation and setting boundaries, allowing them to maintain their giving nature without sacrificing their own well-being.

Chapter 7 describes the ways in which givers can avoid becoming pushovers or doormats. Grant recommends that givers adapt their reciprocity style when interacting with takers by using their discernment and being strategic in how they give and help.

Chapter 8 explores the ways in which the reciprocity norms of a group can influence or shift the behavior of members. People who closely identify with a group that encourages giving are more likely to adopt a giving mindset and engage in helping behaviors.

In Chapter 9, Grant wraps up the book with an anecdote that shows that givers can embrace their giving tendencies even in a world that encourages them to be more self-serving. Grant concludes by suggesting that all individuals and organizations could benefit from cultivating a culture of giving, in which acts of generosity and kindness are celebrated and rewarded.