If Only I Had Told Her

“We weren’t touching, but it felt like the atoms between us were warm with my love for her.”

This simile encapsulates Finn’s love for Autumn, which is ever-present and unwavering. He is not even certain when he fell in love with her because he has always been in love with her in some way.

“I cannot look back and say when I fell in love with Autumn Rose. Something I felt for her before I even learned to read had grown and sharpened as we grew up together.”

This quote establishes that Finn’s love for Autumn is embedded within his core memories; it developed so early that he cannot pinpoint a time when he was not in love with her. His love for her matured as he did, but it has never wavered, even though he does not articulate it to Autumn until the final days of his life.

“I love Sylvie, but I can’t say that I will be in love with her every day for the rest of my life. I adore so much about her and understand her foibles, but I’m not devoted to her. She’s a partner but not a part of who I am.”

Finn considers his relationship with Sylvie extensively and reiterates that he is in love with her. The problem is that the depth of his feelings for Sylvie does not match his feelings for Autumn. Notably, he feels that his love for Autumn is fundamental to his identity; Autumn feels the same about Finn, which is part of why his death affects her so deeply. The quote therefore helps set up the theme of how Loss of Identity Leads to Growth.