If Only I Had Told Her

Autumn visits a baby boutique with her mother and Angelina the day after Halloween. The baby does not feel real to her, but she tries to appear excited. She believes her mother and Angelina are trying to get her excited about having a baby so that she has something to look forward to. Autumn’s morning sickness is impacting her, and she throws up in a trash can in the mall. She speaks to Angelina about motherhood and her anxieties about it. Angelina reassures her, “It’s still worth it, Autumn, even if they die” (289).

Autumn visits her friend Angie, who is a teenage mother with a young baby. When Autumn tells Angie about her pregnancy, Angie is unsurprised that the father is Finn. Angie shares that motherhood is hard and lonely, and Autumn confides that after Finn died, she thought being dead might be better until she realized she was pregnant. Angie says Autumn needs to find more of a reason to live than just having a baby. On the drive home, Autumn and her mother talk, and Claire makes sure Autumn knows that she will support whatever Autumn wants to do regarding the baby.