Ind Aff

“Ind Aff, or Out of Love in Sarajevo” (1988) is a short story by Fay Weldon, who also authored fiction, drama, and radio. The story is a work of literary fiction focusing on themes of Gendered Power Imbalances in Love and the importance of pivotal choices.

The story is set in the city of Sarajevo in the 20th century when it was still part of the former country of Yugoslavia. It opens by describing a rainy day at “Sarajevo’s pride”—the footprints marking the place where Princip assassinated the Archduke Franz Ferdinand in 1914 along with, as the narrator reminds readers, his wife. Musing on the impact of this historical event, the narrator reflects upon Princip’s apparent adoration of his country for the first of many times. The heavy rain is kept off the busy streets by “a shield of bobbing umbrellas” yet fills Princip’s footprints (Paragraph 3); Peter, a “professor of classical history” (Paragraph 4), complains about this. Peter tells the narrator that she has “a good mind but not a first-class mind” (Paragraph 4). The narrator reveals that she is Peter’s thesis advisee and is in love with him.

The narrator describes how the rain has ruined the couple’s vacation plans. She explains that the purpose of the vacation was to help Peter decide between her and his wife. The narrator considers herself more attractive and smarter than Peter’s wife, whom she considers a dowdy swimming instructor who smells of chlorine; she thinks that there is “no contest at all between” the two of them (Paragraph 7), but instead Peter’s indecisiveness is to blame for why he still hasn’t left his wife.

Peter and the narrator go out for lunch since it is raining too much to “picnic and make love” (Paragraph 9). At the restaurant, they order wild boar, which comes with an appetizer of cucumber salad. Peter is in poor spirits and makes several complaints. The conversation turns to Princip; the narrator wonders about the real impact of his actions. The two argue about whether he really caused World War I. Peter claims that it would have happened regardless.

The narrator admires Peter’s “dexterity and patience with his knife and fork” as he removes seeds from the pepper in his salad (Paragraph 20). She ponders how proud she is that Peter is, in the words of her younger sister Clare, a “[m]uscular academic, not weedy academic” (Paragraph 21). Clare is successful compared to the narrator, but the narrator thinks that her sister’s husband is a “weedy academic.”

The narrator’s thoughts return again to Princip and how he sacrificed himself by dying in prison “for love of a country” (Paragraph 22). She remarks aloud to Peter that she loves him with “inordinate affection.” This is an inside joke between the two of them based on the diaries of the founder of Methodism, John Wesley. Peter has previously explained to the narrator that “Wesley himself worried about it to such a degree that he ended up abbreviating it in his diaries, Ind Aff” (Paragraph 26). This phrase and its abbreviation have become a catchphrase for Peter and his mistress.

After the narrator expresses her love in this way at the restaurant, Peter remarks, “Your Ind Aff is my wife’s sorrow, that’s the trouble” (Paragraph 27). The narrator does not want to engage in one of their typical discussions about this, which are usually resolved sexually—something undesirable in their cramped hotel room—so she asks to change the subject. The details of the assassination of the Archduke and his wife are again on the narrator’s mind, so she brings up the related event of “[t]he collapse of the Austro-Hungarian empire” (Paragraph 30). Peter explains this, but he misspeaks and then denies it when his lover corrects him. He then grumbles over the delayed arrival of the wild boar.

The narrator thinks about how Clare approves of her affair with Peter, and then again about Princip. Just as he went after what he wanted out of love, so does she go after Peter out of love.

The narrator then notices a nearby waiter; they smile at each other, and she feels attracted to him. She notices how different this feels from the “the pain in the heart” she’s gotten used to with Peter (Paragraph 38). Her feelings toward the waiter are, in contrast, she realizes, “[t]he true, the real pain of Ind Aff!” (Paragraph 38).

Peter asks if she likes the waiter and she denies it. Another waiter eyes her with what she imagines is judgment, and she guesses that he wonders why she is with an older man. Peter asks her what’s on her mind, and she says that she loves him, which she acknowledges internally as a lie, and then muses aloud for the last time about the assassination.

She suddenly gets up and tells Peter that she is going home, giving him a kiss “on the top of his head” (Paragraph 46). As she walks out, the wild boar finally arrives, but she observes that it looks cold and unappealing.

The narrator states, “And that was how I fell out of love with my professor, in Sarajevo” (Paragraph 47). She goes on to call the events of the story “silly” and “sad” repeatedly, explaining that she had conflated “academic ambition” and sibling rivalry with love. After the affair, Peter tries to fail her thesis, but she appeals the decision and decides that she does have a “first-class” mind.

Lastly, she again compares her love for Peter to Princip’s love of his country, lamenting that if only he’d “come to his senses” as she had (Paragraph 48), the tragedy of World War I could have been avoided.