Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love

Although Shapiro describes her meeting with Ben as miraculous, it does not answer pressing questions about her parents. She continues her research on artificial insemination, going so far as to peruse catalogs of sperm donors, most of whom are anonymous. She wonders if donors fully understand the impact of their actions. Years earlier, Shapiro and Michael considered using donor eggs to conceive a second child. Unlike Shapiro’s parents, however, they planned to tell their baby about her origins. Shapiro visits California Cryobank, the country’s largest sperm bank. Its elderly founder, Cappy Rothman, is distressed to learn that she identified her biological father. She asks Rothman if his organization encourages parents to disclose the truth to their children, stressing that finding out long after the fact can be traumatic. He concedes this point, before making a flippant remark about her physical appearance and good genes.

Shapiro writes a note on her half-sister Emily’s Facebook page and receives an email reply the following day. Emily instantly feels familiar to Shapiro. They are about the same age, have been married a similar length of time, and have children who are also close in age. Both are strong, quiet, loyal, sensitive, serious about their work, and devoted mothers.