It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Wolynn introduces the concept of “core language” as a pivotal tool for uncovering inherited family trauma. The term refers to the emotionally charged words and phrases that people unconsciously use to describe their deepest fears, struggles, and life patterns. Wolynn argues that these linguistic patterns often mirror unresolved traumas from previous generations, serving as a verbal bridge to hidden pain within the family system. By identifying and analyzing this language, individuals can trace its origins to specific events or relationships, such as parental abandonment, family loss, or intergenerational shame. This process not only helps reveal the root of persistent emotional and physical challenges but also serves as a starting point for breaking cycles of inherited trauma. Wolynn emphasizes that recognizing and reshaping one’s core language is essential to transforming inherited pain into a foundation for healing and growth.

In this book, Wolynn employs the concept of “epigenetics” to explain how the effects of trauma experienced by one generation can biologically imprint itself on the next. He highlights that while our DNA remains unchanged, life experiences—particularly traumatic ones—can alter how genes are expressed, influencing stress responses, emotional regulation, and susceptibility to physical and mental health challenges. Wolynn highlights that these epigenetic changes, often triggered by events like war, famine, or family tragedies, can lead to an inherited predisposition to anxiety, depression, or chronic illnesses in descendants.