Redefining realness: My path to womanhood, identity, love, & so much more

“As for terminology, I prefer to use trans over transgender or transsexual when identifying myself, although I don’t find either offensive. I do not use real or genetic or biological or natural to describe the sex, body, or gender of those who are not trans. Instead, I’ve used cis, a term applied to those who are not trans and therefore less likely to experience the misalignment of their gender identity and assigned sex at birth—a matter we do not control, yet one that continues to frame who is normalized or stigmatized.”

Because of the words that have been used throughout Mock’s life, both to denigrate her and to give her hope, she is very explicit about the words she chooses to use within her memoir. Later, she stresses that “cis” means “on the same side of,” whereas “trans” can mean either “across” or “on the opposite side of.” These words and their definitions are important specifically because they can be associated with the trauma of stigma; that is, when the wrong words are used or when the right words are used incorrectly, they can become a source of psychological harm for the recipient of these words, even if this was not their intent. Here, Mock also presents how words can be conflated with identity via categorization; that is, people understand where they fit within society and within their relationships based upon the words they use to describe themselves, the words that they identify with. She also presents the idea that some words are more appropriate than others, specifically because they cause people less harm. This implies that there can be a kind of violence, or at the very least, aggression, implicitly associated with words, especially in terms of microagressions.