Secrets

“Secrets” is a short story by Bernard MacLaverty that tackles themes of Secrets, Trauma, and the Limits of Emotional Intimacy, Guilt and the Desire for Forgiveness, and Love in the Face of Death. It is a part of his 1977 original collection of short stories titled Secrets & Other Stories. MacLaverty is a writer of contemporary Irish fiction who won an award from the Scottish Arts Council in 1978 for the aforementioned collection. “Secrets” details a man’s reflections on his childhood in the wake of his great aunt’s death. This time of familial grieving positions the protagonist, who goes unnamed throughout the entire story, to consider the mysterious nature of his great aunt and his dashed expectations of closeness with her.

This guide refers to the edition of “Secrets” published by Jonathan Cape in Bernard MacLaverty’s 2013 Collected Stories.

Content Warning: The source material depicts an instance of physical and emotional child abuse, as well as graphic descriptions of wartime violence and death.

The story opens with a young man rushing to the bedside of his dying relative, Great Aunt Mary. He arrives just in time to witness his aunt’s final moments. Others have gathered, praying aloud as Great Aunt Mary’s breath rattles. The protagonist can hardly stand seeing Mary so frail and without her customary “dignity.” The young man leaves the room “trembling with anger or sorrow, he didn’t know which” (25). A few moments later, he hears women weeping and knows Mary has passed away.

The protagonist recalls Mary’s appearance: her small stature, aging yet clean hair, and the only pieces of jewelry she wore, a cameo ring on her right hand and a golden locket around her neck. As a boy, the protagonist used to stare at her ring as Aunt Mary read fairy tales and various classic novels to him. He remembers interrupting her while she was reading Great Expectations to ask about the ring and learning it was passed down as a family heirloom. When he asked further questions, she told him, “Don’t be so inquisitive” (26).

The protagonist then remembers a particular incident from his childhood. While Aunt Mary is working in her room, he asks to gather some of her used stamps for his collection. She gets up from her table to gather keys to unlock her writing desk, which is filled with paper envelopes and old postcards. She will not allow him to remove the postcards from her office but lets him use a kettle to lift the stamps with steam. The postcards come from various locations across Europe: Spain, France, Germany, and Italy. Aunt Mary works silently as he peels off the stamps. Eventually, he asks about someone’s signature: “‘Who is Brother Benignus?’ […] His flourishing signature appeared again and again” (27-28). Reluctantly, Aunt Mary answers that he was a friend who is no longer alive.

When the protagonist tries to read Mary’s letters, she sternly tells him not to touch them. He comments on an old photograph that turns out to be a picture of his aunt wearing an ambiguous smile. She allows him to look at other photographs, one of which depicts a young soldier smoking a cigarette. He tries to ask who the soldier is, but she only tells him it was a friend from before the protagonist was born. He asks if it is Brother Benignus, and then if her friend died in the war. She says that he “perhaps” did and ends the conversation (29).

Sometime later, the protagonist is doing homework as his mother tidies papers around the house. When Aunt Mary leaves for Devotions, the protagonist grabs the keys to her sitting room and unlocks the desk flap to find an old bundle of letters. He starts reading them: They appear to be from a soldier during World War I. His first letter chronicles his exhaustion, describes the howitzers firing nearby, references his job censoring mail, and professes his love for Mary. The letter is signed “John.” A second letter details the soldier’s memories of Mary’s beauty and the time they spent together at the site of their first kiss. It becomes clear the soldier served in the trenches of World War I, as he references standing in the mud. The third letter conveys his physical suffering in the winter cold and details the horrific sight of seeing dead men frozen where they fell. His last lines share his fears and anger: “If I live through this experience I will be a different person. The only thing that remains constant is my love for you” (31). The last letter the boy has time to read is from the same man. Now writing from his hospital bed, he is recovering physically and thinking about the war. He has had a spiritual epiphany and implies that he intends to join a religious order (which, for a Catholic, would necessitate the end of any romantic relationships).

Suddenly, the protagonist hears Aunt Mary return, and he hastily tries to put away the letters. She walks in and slaps him, confronting him for reading her letters and angrily telling him to leave: “You are dirt […] and always will be dirt. I shall remember this till the day I die” (33).

Back in the present, the protagonist watches his mother burn the cards and letters from Aunt Mary’s room. He tries to ask if she knows who Brother Benignus is, but his mother does not, remarking that Mary always guarded her secrets. The protagonist asks her if Aunt Mary said anything about him before she died. She states that she did not.

The protagonist allows himself to feel sadness and grief for the first time since Aunt Mary died. He sheds silent tears “for the woman who had been his maiden aunt, his teller of tales, that she might forgive him” (33).