Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

The author introduces one of her clients, Kim, and relays her story of struggling with boundaries. Kim’s high expectations of herself caused her to always agree to help others, and she began to feel “depleted” (3). The author laments that many people struggle to say no to others, and as a result she claims “we live in a culture of burnout” (4). The author explains that Kim’s habit of overcommitting herself was making her anxious, since it was impossible for her to help people as much as she wanted to.

The author defines boundaries as “expectations and needs that make you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships” (5). She claims that stress, dread, anxious thoughts, avoiding others, and feeling overwhelmed are all signs that people may have trouble setting boundaries. Tawwab explains that a lack of boundaries can prompt people to neglect their own self-care in order to be present for others. She insists that saying no is not “selfish,” but can be a reasonable act of self-care in itself (6). Without boundaries, people may begin to resent others who want their help, have no time for their own pursuits, or even fantasize about “dropping everything and disappearing” (7).