The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love

Taylor shares the story of a woman named Keisha, who was made fun of during childhood for traction alopecia, which left her with bald spots on the sides of her head. Taylor explains that when people retrace their first experiences of body shame, there are often many commonalities to these stories: These experiences happen in youth, often in response to rapid body change, heralding a time in one’s life when one becomes acutely aware of difference. These experiences are usually attached to self-worth, and they are reinforced by family and society.

As another example, Taylor shares a story of her childhood neighbor, Nia. When Taylor and Nia were children, family members and adult neighbors joked about Nia hitting puberty. She recalls that after this, Nia hid herself and did not want to go out in public. This made Taylor afraid of the same thing happening to her.

Taylor emphasizes that the way in which people are treated in childhood can have severe consequences. She points out that nearly half of transgender youth have seriously contemplated suicide, and a quarter of trans youth report that they have attempted suicide.

Taylor explains that many impactful body shame experiences arise from feelings of difference. She acknowledges that humans have evolved to notice difference as a survival tactic, but she contends that equating difference with danger is not useful in the modern day.