The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love

Content Warning: This section mentions body image, racism, ableism, and transphobia.

“Self-esteem and self-confidence are fleeting, and both can exist without radical self-love, but it almost never bodes well for anyone involved when they do. Think of all the obnoxious people you know oozing arrogance, folks we can be certain think extremely highly of themselves. […] Pick your favorite totalitarian dictator and you will likely find someone who has done just fine in the self-confidence category. After all, you would have to think you’re the bee’s knees to entertain the idea of single-handedly dominating the entire planet.”

Taylor utilizes humor and a casual tone to distinguish between superficial forms of self-acceptance, such as self-esteem and self-confidence, and the deeper, more intrinsic concept of radical self-love. By referencing “obnoxious people oozing arrogance” and “your favorite totalitarian dictator,” she playfully underscores the idea that self-confidence can exist in the absence of true self-love, often manifesting as arrogance or egotism rather than genuine self-appreciation. Taylor’s lighthearted comparison not only makes her argument relatable and engaging but also conveys the difference between merely thinking highly of oneself and embracing the holistic, empathetic ethos of radical self-love.

“We practice self-acceptance when we have grown tired of self-hatred but can’t conceive of anything beyond a paltry tolerance of ourselves. What a thin coat to wear on this weather-tossed road. Famed activist and professor Angela Davis said, ‘I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.’ We can change the circumstances that have had us settle for self-acceptance. I assure you there is a richer, thicker, cozier blanket to carry through the world. There is a realm infinitely more mind-blowing. It’s called radical self-love.”

Taylor employs the metaphor of clothing in harsh weather to differentiate between the superficial protection offered by self-acceptance and the protective warmth of radical self-love. The “thin coat” symbolizes the fragile and insufficient nature of mere tolerance of oneself, barely shielding against life’s adversities, which are depicted as a “weather-tossed road.” Taylor suggests a transformative shift toward the “richer, thicker, cozier blanket” of radical self-love, portraying it as a robust and comforting embrace that shelters one from life’s challenges, symbolizing a substantial and nurturing alternative to mere self-acceptance.