The Light We Lost

The Light We Lost, published by Penguin Random House LLC, is a novel by New York Times bestselling author, Jill Santopolo. The novel is a contemporary romance in which Lucy Carter reflects on her relationships with two men: Gabe Samson, a photojournalist, and Darren Maxwell, a banker. The novel takes place over 13 years, with the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 as the starting point and the Gaza City War in 2014 as the end point. The Light We Lost was a Reese Witherspoon Book Club pick for February 2018 and has been optioned for a future film.

This guide refers to the Nook e-book version published by Penguin Random House LLC.

Plot Summary

Lucy Carter is in a Shakespeare seminar at Columbia University in New York when Gabriel Samson sits down beside her. Moments later, the campus is rocked when news that a plane has crashed into the World Trade Center spreads. Gabe invites Lucy to go back to his dorm with her until they can figure out what is happening. They both manage to call their families and friends, reassuring them they are safe before they focus on the news coming in on the television. Lucy and Gabe go up to the roof where they can see the smoke from the attack. They share a kiss, but Gabe’s former girlfriend calls, asking for his support on this terrifying day. A sense of obligation causes Gabe to return to his previous relationship.

Over a year later, Lucy has graduated from Columbia and works as a production assistant on the children’s show, It Takes a Galaxy. Her friends take her out to celebrate her birthday, and they run into Gabe Samson. Lucy and Gabe spend the night together, and their one night quickly blossoms into a relationship in which Gabe fully supports Lucy’s dreams while trying to figure out what his might be. Gabe eventually concludes that he would like to be a photojournalist, capturing the darkness and the beauty of the world around him. When he gets a job working for the Associated Press that will take him to Iraq, Gabe makes the difficult choice to follow his dreams and leave Lucy behind.

Lucy is devastated by Gabe’s departure. However, as time passes, she opens herself to the possibility of another romance. When she meets banker Darren Maxwell, she is initially hesitant, but he quickly wins her over with his charm and sense of humor. They begin spending a lot of time together, sharing their bucket lists and working to check things off them. They go on an extended bike ride, adopt a puppy, and take a weekend trip to Paris. Even as her relationship with Darren deepens, Lucy struggles to let Gabe go. They connect a few times, mostly through text messages and emails, and each reconnection keeps Gabe and the memory of their relationship alive for Lucy.

After several years, Lucy finds in Darren a steady, kind man who would make a good husband and father. She agrees to his marriage proposal, but doubts plague her up to her wedding day. On that morning, Gabe calls, unaware of the importance of the day, and reminds Lucy how much she loves him and how chaotic and dangerous his life is. Although she has doubts, Lucy goes through with her wedding. Lucy soon gives birth to a beautiful baby girl, Violet. However, doubts plague Lucy again when Darren insists she stay home to care for Violet. Lucy has always suspected Darren did not take her career seriously, and this argument appears to prove it. It is a relief when Darren backs down and helps her pick a nanny to care for Violet.

Lucy learns that when she and Darren first met, he and his friends referred to her as a “paper doll” because she fit Darren’s requirements for an ideal mate perfectly. This idea bothers her, making her wonder if Darren loves and respects her the way Gabe does. She continues to follow Gabe’s career and is proud when he publishes a book. When Gabe has a gallery show of his work, Lucy attends with a friend, only to discover that a whole section of the show is dedicated to photographs Gabe took of her when they were together. Darren is angry when he hears of it and insists on seeing it himself, displaying a jealousy that makes Lucy feel more like a possession than a partner in their marriage.

When Violet is four, Lucy gets a call from Gabe telling her his mother died. Lucy meets Gabe at the airport with Violet, and they spend the afternoon comforting him during his layover. Violet insists to Darren later that they should invite Gabe over to bake cookies to make him feel better. Darren reluctantly agrees to it. Gabe and Violet have a lovely afternoon, and Gabe even fixes a problem with Lucy’s washing machine that Darren did not have the knowledge to repair. This event stays close to Lucy over the next year as she discovers a phone number on Darren’s cellphone that leads her to believe he is having an affair.

Gabe comes to town, and Lucy arranges to meet him alone, refusing to tell Darren. When they meet, believing her husband is having an affair, Lucy and Gabe have sex. Afterward, when Lucy returns home, she learns that Darren was not having an affair; he had arranged to buy the house in which he and Lucy met. Meanwhile, Gabe calls to say he is going to quit the Associated Press and move back to New York. Overwhelmed with guilt, Lucy tells him not to do it for her because she cannot leave her marriage. At the same time, Lucy learns she is pregnant and suspects the child is Gabe’s. She debates whether or not to tell him but chooses not to.

Lucy gets a call that Gabe is in the hospital in Tel Aviv because he was injured by an explosion in Gaza City. Lucy is listed as his medical proxy. She rushes to Tel Aviv to see him, only to be told that he is brain dead and they need her permission to remove him from the machines. Lucy is heartbroken, but she wants to know for certain if her unborn child is Gabe’s before he dies. A paternity test reveals that the child is Gabe’s. She writes a letter to her unborn child telling him who his father is and what she had to do for him, while also promising that no matter what happens next, she will make sure he knows his father’s legacy.