The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy

In the Gottmans’ seven-day love prescription, the unit of the day itself is a crucial preoccupation. The Gottmans show how the 24 hours we are all universally granted are where love can either be nurtured or pushed aside in favor of seemingly more important tasks on our endless to-do lists. Throughout the book, the couples in their case studies struggle not with dramatic events, such as the fallout from an affair, but with how to feel connected to one another as they go about their busy days, navigating the responsibilities of work and parenting.

A key insight of the Gottmans’ research is that the same unit of time during which many people are growing distant from their spouses can be used to turn toward them. The authors illustrate this with the case study of Alison and Jeremy, the working parents who have become increasingly stressed during the Covid pandemic while trying to meet the demands of remote work and homeschooling. The couple’s relationship has been sacrificed at the altar of logistics, and they find themselves increasingly disagreeing on how to handle different aspects of the pandemic and childrearing. They never stop to check in with each other. As a result, the couple has begun to fight more and harbor increasingly uneasy thoughts about each other, such as: “He never really considers my opinion; he just thinks of reasons why I’m wrong.