When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

In Mahayana Buddhism, including the Tibetan Vajrayana version, a bodhisattva is someone who has chosen to bring enlightenment to all sentient beings. This can be anyone on the path to awakening, especially those who, through Meditation or other means, have discovered bodhichitta, a “tenderness for life” (114) that inspires them to dedicate their efforts to reaching out to all who suffer. Often such bodhisattvas become teachers of the Buddhist dharma, but all of them do what they can to alleviate suffering.

Cool loneliness is the author’s term for the loneliness one encounters during meditation that transforms into a sense of kindness toward oneself and others. Instead of trying to get rid of “hot” loneliness by keeping busy with lots of social activity, one intentionally gets in touch with and accepts the essence of the feeling. Thus, one discovers a cool quality of aloneness that contains six virtues: “less desire, contentment, avoiding unnecessary activity, complete discipline, not wandering in the world of desire, and not seeking security from one’s discursive thoughts” (72). Cool loneliness serves as an example of an emotion that people tend to resist that, when accepted during meditation, can morph into a feeling they accept and honor.